Singapore is like a high achiever kid. Best test scores, competitive economy and very intelligent… but got a lot of problem getting a girlfriend. It has been decades since we stopped replacing our population and we have been competing with Hong Kong people for least attractive in the world since independence. According to a recent whitepaper on Singapore’s population, 40% of our marriages are with non-Singaporeans. If you think about it, it is kind of like instead of crocodiles mating with other crocodiles, the crocodiles have decided to mate with the fish instead (I know it doesn’t make sense just go with it).
Did you know that crocodile in malay is “Buaya”? and it is also a slang for “Dude who likes to flirt with girls” in Singapore
But this isn’t about Singapore, this is about the couples whom have managed to fight against the odds and actually get to enjoy Valentine’s Day in Singapore! Let us look at some of the favorite activities of Singaporean couples on Valentine’s Day.
2) Watch Movie
3) Go Batam (10th Anniversary Only)
4) Visit Sentosa
Ha ha ha! Just kidding… We are not that boring… So let me plan out an ideal night for you (in case you might be in Singapore for Valentine’s Day one day)
It’s ok if you are poor but it is not ok if you are not creative. $100 will barely get you through a decent “Valentine’s Day” standard dinner leaving nothing much for entertainment but thankfully your guide is an expert at being a hipster. Take your date out for shopping and tea at Haji Lane (some stores there carry luxury brands but don’t worry; the air is so hipster she will be too stoned to enter one).
And here is the trick, spend the entire day just walking around… but splurge your $300 for one night at the New Majestic Hotel just when she wouldn’t stop whining you pulled off the coup de grace! Gandalf has returned at the turn of the tides!
Lunch and dinner is optional, hipsters don’t need to eat.
“ITS NOT EVEN A PROPER HOTEL ROOM AND WHO IS GANDALF?!”
Ahhh… this is something I can work with. You might be thinking “You know what that previous idea wasn’t that great… I am not sure if I should continue reading” But I haven’t revealed my true prowess yet. So the first thing you should do is to book a suite at Marine Bay Sands (MBS) and then take your date for dinner at the Singapore flyer.
Before Valentine’s Day, hire a forever alone neighborhood kid to place rose petals from the lift to the hotel suite (it is not very far) and form a heart on the bed (its pretty bad if you spend $3000 and don’t get laid). Finally, you should blindfold your date on the way to MBS and only uncover it once you reach the suite because it is magical like teleporting. Also remember to pay for the kid’s taxi home or you are gonna get into big trouble, Singaporeans get very annoyed when children go missing.
good place to eat, great place to propose… there is no where to run
Fly to Hong Kong
Singapore has one of the lowest fertility rates in the world and the government has been encouraging immigration to combat aging population and maintain economic competitiveness. To read more about Singapore’s population woes check out
To understand the author’s “Unamerican” diction, try reading a couple of threads on this popular Singaporean online forum: EDMW
AND REMEMBER TO JOIN SGSA’S VALENTINE’S DAY MIXER THIS FRIDAY ON THE 8th OF FEBRURAY!